Feeling Hungry

I’ve been trying to convince Mom that she needs to feed me more, without very much success.  After all, the dog walker feeds me at least 4 cookies whenever she comes to visit, but then Mom just plops down a bowl of kibble at night and tells me, “You can’t have any more, you don’t want to turn into a fat corgi.”  But oh, yes, I do want to turn into a fat corgi!

So I decided to take matters into my own paws, and begin feeding myself…

The first self-fed meal was the egg under the coffee table.  It had a nice floral scent, but the outside was a little on the crunchy side and the inside had a waxy consistency.  Mom said later it was a “ceramic egg” with a “candle” inside.  I’m still not sure why she was crying about someone having broken into the house when she first saw the eggshell remnants on the floor.





This was the next night, when I went back to see if any of the egg was left.












Then she put out the Thanksgiving turkey for me.  Or I thought it was okay to eat the turkey, it really did look very juicy and delicious.  Unfortunately, it didn’t taste quite as delectable as it looked – it sort of tasted like wood with a plastic coating - and it did sting a little bit when Mom rolled up the remnants of it and smacked me over the butt, muttering something about “I didn’t even get to read it yet.”

So a few days later, I moved on to breakfast, appetizers and dessert all at the same time!  It looked like a buffet and I had my choice of ham, pancakes, cheese logs, yule logs and petit fours, so of course I had to sample all of them.  But the same as the turkey, they didn’t taste quite as delicious as they looked.  But at least this time, I didn’t leave very much that could be rolled up…